Thursday, October 8, 2009


If I told you, I go to the movie a lot lately, I must be very depressed.

In 2007, the darkest year in my life, I watched over a hundred of movies in cinema.
It's not being planned... It happened.
I thought the reason I always go to movie is because I love them.

But .. hell no.
And I just discover this weird behavior recently.
I like movies but I don't love them.
What I really love, and I just discover, is the theatre.
I love how it lock me up.
I love the darkness.
I love the privacy.
I love even I cry no one would take notice.
I love it's for a loner.

The truth is telling someone about your depression is difficult.
Language is never an equal exchange.
People ask questions that they couldn't understand which you don't bother to answer.
You lock the door to your heart. Not letting anyone in.
Watching movie = escaping from reality,
this bring me relief.

If one ask, have you seen this movie?
I would have said yes.
But if one ask, what is it about?
I would have said I have no idea.
Because I am physically present in the theatre, but mentally absent.

This is how I find out. I am not really a movie-goer.


Jen said...

i love this. its so real, so true. i think a lot of people escape life through movies and television. very few can admit to it though.

Vicky said...

I think many people do not discover the fact that they escape life through movies and television. They just want them, enjoy them. Like I thought myself was in love with movie. And I just discover the fact is that it is and still is the way for me to escape from life. Hell.. that's horrible. Never ended.