Living space

在獨媒看到這篇我的一百三十呎，作者很型。

我想作者是個在念大學的女子，年輕，應十九至二十頭、她瘦削卻非弱質之輩、滿腔理想的同時亦知現實殘酷的矛盾，有明知不可為而為之的勇氣，卻每天受著資本主義社會的瘋狂摧殘，才會拿著助學金租住 我的一百三十呎的「單位」。
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即使如何狹隘、侷促、塵埃飛揚，都算是自己的空間，實在、獨立、私密的空間。住久了，習慣了一切的缺點，那就成家，自己的家。

我沒那種勇氣面對搬出去的一切，我擁有最實在的空間，只有我的床，正確點是半張上格床，最私密的空間，是最不實在的空間，那是面對電腦的時間，是面對著電腦的時間，我有時開著了這機器然後看一本實體的書，它只是在發光，有時我真的用它來做功課，只有開著了它，坐在它面前的時間，那才是我的空間。那空間不實在、很流動、但它私密，沒有人問我在幹啥，沒有人在審查我對它做的一切，屬於我卻不踏實的私人空間。

我大概不出兩個星期就會搬出作者所住的百三呎單位，我無法忍受木門吱吱作響隨時有人爆格的不安、馬桶電磁爐共處一室的污穢，最重要的是我永遠以父母的家作後備，一見任何不妥，立刻回娘家。因此我佩服作者，無懼一切的不安，戰勝躲回家的懦弱、在不理想的環境努力創造幾近理想的居住空間，實在甘佩下風。願我有日決心離蔭，承受為獨立而付出的代價與挑戰。

I read an article titled "My 130 sq. feet" and I envy and admire what the writer do. The writer lives in a 130 sq feet room, which included a toilet, bathroom and "kitchen" ( a sink and a facet), cost 2700 Hong Kong dollars (~$340 US) a month. The writer said it is not crowded because the writer could walk 10 steps and turn around in that room. (Ya, some people live in space crowded that this one).

I think the writer must be a girl who still studying in University. (The writer mention the rent is paid by the student grant.) She is young, somewhere between 19 to early 20s. She has a slender body but not fragile. Struggling with the contradiction that the dream that she has and how unrealistic to make them come true in this crazy capitalized city. The belief of making impossible to possible is definitely one of the reason why she live in that little space.

No matter how narrow, un-breathable, dusty and dirty the place is, that is your (her) space. That is solid, independent and private. As time goes by, you are more familiar with the space, and it becomes your home.

I am not brave enough to take that challage. Frist of all, I am broke, I couldn't afford even that small amount of money to pay rent. Even if I could afford the rent, I couldn't bear the fact that the wood-made door is going to break every single minute, the noisyness of buses and cars passing by 24/7.

The only solid space that I have now is my bed, precisely. half of the bulk bed. The other private and kind of independent space that I own is the computer and of course the internet. Sometime I just swift if on, and I read book (real book, book you need to turn pages by hand). It's a sign like I am using this space, don't bother me. It's not secure, it's fluid. That space could happen anytime like at the coffee shop. It's not something that you can hold on and feel satify. You are scared every minute that you are going to lose this space.

If I ever determined and live in that little room, I couldn't last for two weeks. It's because I know that I could go back to my parents' home any moment.

Wish that some day I can move out soon and take the challege of being a grown-up and independent being.

Friends

Best Friends listen to what you don't say.

Quotation from a Greeting card in Metrobook store.
It's so damn true.

There is a single phrase in Chinese to end it all ..

老友，心照啦

朋友與青春是甚麼？

金句就是金句

Friederich Nietzsche ,十九世紀德國哲學家，膽敢挑戰基督教的基礎與傳統的道德觀，其實看以下數句就知道他有看透世情的能力。

Friend. Shared joy, not compassion, makes a friend.
朋友，可分享快樂，非因憐憫而結，就是朋友。

Youth. The time of youth is disagreeable, for then it is not possible, or not reasonable, to be productive in any sense.
(翻譯中)

絕對認同對青春的詮譯，不事生產是正常的啊！

我在北韓監獄長大 Condemned at Conception

原文：http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/peopleandpower/2008/12/200812694720171810.html

Condemned at conception

「我在北韓監獄長大」

金正日的身體狀況，以及是否有能力領導國家，引起越來越多的關注。

〔背景：Shin是在北韓獄中出世，父母亦是囚犯，直至22歲才逃離集中營。他逃離北韓邊境至中國，尋求政治庇護，現於南韓生活。〕

唯一一個逃離北韓最殘暴盬獄的人，活生生地告訴我們，一個無法想像的恐怖故事。食物與基本人性都匱乏，Shin證明了集中營仍是個慘不忍賭的現實。

Shin獄中最逼真的記憶是持續的飢餓，「飢餓是我逃走的原因，即使要我賠上生命也要逃，我只需要一種東西﹣﹣食物。」他回憶道。

逃獄的三年前，他完全不知道，鐵窗以外，有另一個世界存在。逃離以前，他受着虐待、當苦役、完全被隔離之苦。

「我母親理應告發我；我亦應告發他。」Shin道。

當他親眼目睹處死刑時，他相信母親命應如此。「我責怪他，我那時仍是個小孩，沒有真實的情感。」

Shin 不知甚麼是愛，只知甚麼是暴力，他曾目擊警衛把小女孩活生生打死。他最終爬過高電壓的圍欄逃獄，當時燒黑了的雙腿，至今仍留有疤痕。〔補充：逃獄之時，他 和朋友發現圍欄沒有警衛看守，他朋友先爬圍欄，但還未爬過就電死，Shin就爬在他朋友身上越過圍欄，才沒有被電死。〕

故事可怕如此，Shin的故事並不特別，很多人仍相信北韓的壓迫情況只會惡化。

Wang亦曾是囚犯，現寫關於北韓監獄的著名作家解釋，「金正日害怕自己會與羅馬尼亞的齊奧塞斯庫的命運一樣，因此現行體制的暴虐行為是由他的恐懼而加劇，他只想把所有敵人殺清光。」