Living space

在獨媒看到這篇我的一百三十呎，作者很型。

我想作者是個在念大學的女子，年輕，應十九至二十頭、她瘦削卻非弱質之輩、滿腔理想的同時亦知現實殘酷的矛盾，有明知不可為而為之的勇氣，卻每天受著資本主義社會的瘋狂摧殘，才會拿著助學金租住 我的一百三十呎的「單位」。
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即使如何狹隘、侷促、塵埃飛揚，都算是自己的空間，實在、獨立、私密的空間。住久了，習慣了一切的缺點，那就成家，自己的家。

我沒那種勇氣面對搬出去的一切，我擁有最實在的空間，只有我的床，正確點是半張上格床，最私密的空間，是最不實在的空間，那是面對電腦的時間，是面對著電腦的時間，我有時開著了這機器然後看一本實體的書，它只是在發光，有時我真的用它來做功課，只有開著了它，坐在它面前的時間，那才是我的空間。那空間不實在、很流動、但它私密，沒有人問我在幹啥，沒有人在審查我對它做的一切，屬於我卻不踏實的私人空間。

我大概不出兩個星期就會搬出作者所住的百三呎單位，我無法忍受木門吱吱作響隨時有人爆格的不安、馬桶電磁爐共處一室的污穢，最重要的是我永遠以父母的家作後備，一見任何不妥，立刻回娘家。因此我佩服作者，無懼一切的不安，戰勝躲回家的懦弱、在不理想的環境努力創造幾近理想的居住空間，實在甘佩下風。願我有日決心離蔭，承受為獨立而付出的代價與挑戰。

I read an article titled "My 130 sq. feet" and I envy and admire what the writer do. The writer lives in a 130 sq feet room, which included a toilet, bathroom and "kitchen" ( a sink and a facet), cost 2700 Hong Kong dollars (~$340 US) a month. The writer said it is not crowded because the writer could walk 10 steps and turn around in that room. (Ya, some people live in space crowded that this one).

I think the writer must be a girl who still studying in University. (The writer mention the rent is paid by the student grant.) She is young, somewhere between 19 to early 20s. She has a slender body but not fragile. Struggling with the contradiction that the dream that she has and how unrealistic to make them come true in this crazy capitalized city. The belief of making impossible to possible is definitely one of the reason why she live in that little space.

No matter how narrow, un-breathable, dusty and dirty the place is, that is your (her) space. That is solid, independent and private. As time goes by, you are more familiar with the space, and it becomes your home.

I am not brave enough to take that challage. Frist of all, I am broke, I couldn't afford even that small amount of money to pay rent. Even if I could afford the rent, I couldn't bear the fact that the wood-made door is going to break every single minute, the noisyness of buses and cars passing by 24/7.

The only solid space that I have now is my bed, precisely. half of the bulk bed. The other private and kind of independent space that I own is the computer and of course the internet. Sometime I just swift if on, and I read book (real book, book you need to turn pages by hand). It's a sign like I am using this space, don't bother me. It's not secure, it's fluid. That space could happen anytime like at the coffee shop. It's not something that you can hold on and feel satify. You are scared every minute that you are going to lose this space.

If I ever determined and live in that little room, I couldn't last for two weeks. It's because I know that I could go back to my parents' home any moment.

Wish that some day I can move out soon and take the challege of being a grown-up and independent being.